Paranoia

For a while I have been meaning to make a super awesome movie about my recent paranoia. Before I get into my intriguing story of my irrational fear, I feel that I should start at the beginning.History lesson of my life, I am totally and completely afraid of bugs. I know what you are thinking, who isn't afraid of our creepy crawling friends at one point of their life? I admit though, that my fear is somewhat irrational. I'm not just afraid of bees, wasps, and centipedes; I'm also terrified of ladybugs, rollie pollies, and butterflies. Yes, I know this is ridiculous because what could a harmless butterfly do?

This is what it could do, it could land somewhere on

 my body and crawl up my pants or shirt in which I would begin to strip as if I had on deadly radiation clothes and then here is the real, real fear: I never find it again. Where did the bug go? I have no idea, it could have flown off while I was flailing but I will NEVER KNOW.

It gives me the shivers just thinking about it! Just think of the psycho theme playing while looking at that devil butterfly.

Now to the real story, we live in a basement apartment that we rent from my brother-in-law's parent's. It's a really nice basement with just enough room for the two of us. We love it because it is nice and cool during the summer, there are LOTS of electrical sockets and 

we get warm showers. However, we have been noticing little furry friends creeping around our house. So our guest list usually consists of these bugs.

The Common House Fly:

This guy isn't too pesky. He usually just lounges around on 

our walls, pooping wherever he lands. The only time that we actually kill them is when they find that the best game in the world is to fly around inches from your face just as your watching an intense season finale of 24. That's when he gets kicked out of this party!

The Mosquito:

This guest seems to want to have an affair with me. I have gotten bitten on both of my shoulders, my forearm, and my forehead. Luckily the bite on my forehead did not swell too much. It was a completely different story for my forearm

. I got bit while napping and when I

 woke up, the bite had swelled up to two times the size of a quarter and was sore around the edges. I was actually nervous that I had gotten bitten by something else than a mosquito. My mind grapes automatically think of the worst case scenario, a brown recluse spider. 

Of course if I had gotten bitten by a brown recluse spider, it would look like THIS:

See? What did I tell you? Bugs are from the DEVIL!

And last but certainly not the least is...

 

THE SPIDER:

I have been seeing lots of these around our apartment too and it gives me the beegibees! They blend in with our blue carpet ( I don't know how) and lurk in our bathrooms. It is totally disgusting!  I don't think I have been bitten by these yet but I'm watching them very closely....

By the way, just uploading the picture got me all paranoid and I wanted to cry.

Every slightest touch on my leg, arm or neck causes me to brush off the little minions of Satan that are never really there until I'm asleep and can't feel them. I have been wanting to make a movie about it and over dramatize it but I just haven gotten around to it but when I do, I'll be sure to post it.