Sunday Best!

This past week I have been shopping around for a black skirt. Something nice that I could wear to church. So i shopped with little hope. The only clothes shops are either really crappy or really expensive. I decided to try Maurices. It's a clothing store kind of like Forever 21 and everything is $30 or more but I figured i should try it anyway. Lo and behold, they are haveing a HUGE sale. I mean the cutest clothes for 40% off. I found a cute pinstripe black skirt that was origonally $30 but had been marked down to $24.99 and was also 75% off! I was in heaven! So i bought the skirt but needed a top to go with it.
A couple of days later I drove to IF to go to the Old Navy. Oh wonderous day! They were having a sale too! Every clearance rack was priced $3.95 to $9.99. Again I was in heaven! I found the perfect shirt to go with it. I was all set to be the best DANG looking girl in my married ward. (I had also gotten me a new pair of black shoes since the last time I did that I was a Junior in high school)
Sunday morning came and I of course was so excited. I did my hair all nice and everything and got dressed up. However, the excitement ended there. As I did "the sitting" test, it revealed that the skirt was, well, a little to revealing. Because of the annoying slit in the front, the whole world would be able to see my armour (as Tyler puts it). How could I have missed this stupid, annoying little detail! I had , of course, no safety pins or anything so the ending result was me leaving my appartment with NOTHING of the probably $75 worth of clothes that I bought ( Some clothes weren't exactly church clothes) and I wore a brown dress that I have had for over a year. The one that is not long enough to hide my fatty knees and makes it look like I have two puppies struggling for life under it around by butt!
I went to church in the upmost worst mood. I had spend HOURS trying to find the prefect combination. I went to Relief Society with a "sit next to me and I will punch you with my tithing envelope, chapstick and gum" look. About halfway through my" Oh woe me" misery I realized, that, no one else looked good either. There were just regular people in regular cotten skirts (and even one with a non-matching fleece parka on). So I sat there waiting for church to start and glancing to my right to an unorganized mom and to my left, some handicap girl ( which I am still trying to figure out who she married and what syndrome she has all the while praying that I may be able to accept her and her nasely voice and crooked teeth). I guess with all my shopping and trying to gussy up for church, I was forced to be humble through satan's skirt.