St. Pinch Me Patrick.

In our household, we never really got in minor holidays. Most, in fact, were considered lame. My mom hated Halloween and never decorated. I think we convinced her to buy fake spider webs one year.

I hated how tradition-less we were on minor holidays but now that I am older, I see how it could be annoying to have to go out and do something special for each one. However, I still look forward to when I can find new traditions on the holidays. Especially minor ones. Even St. Patrick's day.
So in honor of the saint that brought Christianity to Ireland, I will share my favourite memory of the holiday.

I was probably only six years old and I was getting ready for school. I lived in Utah at the time and as I was putting on the last part of my outfit, I remembered that it was St. Patrick's day!
I was so relieved and reminded my mom about the intense need to wear green.

"You'll be fine. You don't need to wear green" she replied.
"But I have to!" I insisted.
"Jessica, you're already dressed for school. You'll be late." She insisted back.

I was a very very sensitive child. This to me was as if my mom was disowning me. The tears welded up and I kept on insisting. I just HAD to wear green. If I didn't I would get gang pinched which would make me cry even more (I was a very sad child).
I begged and begged. I even knew which shirt I wanted to wear.

My mom told me that the shirt was dirty and I couldn't wear it. I was getting downright depressed at my dilemma. I just knew I was going to be pinched over and over again.

Finally, after my wailing and moaning, my mom came up with a solution.
"Fine," she said.
My hopes lifted! I could see the sun! A day of NO pinching!
She pulled out the smallest bow possible and pinned it on my shirt right over my heart. Right as she did, my heart broke. I knew we were already late and since my only green shirt *was* dirty, I just had to take the inadequate bow.

Of course, since it was still chilly outside, I also wore a jacket so the bow was completely unnoticeable. I wasn't coordinated enough to pin it on my jacket and I think I would have blacked out if I asked my teacher to. So, all day long, even though I had my green on, I STILL had to ward off pinches. I ran a lot that day and had to do the FBI here's-my-badge-inside-of-my-coat flash to everyone.

Hopefully this year will be better that that one and although I am not visably wearing green, I do have on a green thong. Or do I? You'll never know...If only I'd thought of that when I was 6.