What I Wish I Would Have Known...

When Tyler and I were first married, it started off different then we were expecting. Sure, when we were engaged we would try to spend every waking moment together but when we got married, we DID spend every waking moment together. It wasn't more than we could handle, it was just different than we expected.

For instance, our first married ward was a traumatizing experience. I was so proud that I had only been married for three weeks so I would be the VERY newly newlywed in the ward. Well, I was disappointed when another girl stood up to introduce herself and she was only married for 1 week. I think I am imagining things, but I could swear we exchanged evil eyes to each other that day. It was as if everyone was trying to beat each other out. I waited for someone to run into Relief Society an announce that she had been married for only hours, just to spite us all. By the time I was married for 4 weeks, I was old news ans so was everyone else. In our little newlywed society, we were all oldlyweds. Except that some people still acted like they were dating.

This would be the scene. Tyler and I would be in sacrament meeting and patiently waiting for church to start, maybe even holding hands. Now, Tyler has never been one for public affection and neither have I but after looking at the couple sitting next to us practically on top of each other, making out and gazing into each others eyes, I kind of longed for SOME sort of affection. It wasn't as if Tyler completely ignored me, but just as all the couples were competing to see how newlywed you could be, they were also having a secret contest, "Which couple looks like they're the most in love?" I missed out on the memo.

Tyler and I were (and are) in love, but we didn't think we had to show it to the world 24/7. Apparently, we were wrong and I couldn't wait to get out of that ward.

Then, we had a hard time accepting different family traditions and habits. Tyler had one very specific way to clean and I had mine. In fact, we are still trying to work on how to delegate the habits and traditions.

For instance....

Tyler's way of "saving" leftover food is putting the entire pot in the fridge and cover it with a cloth. He also does this with rolls and anything else we need to "save". Also, if there is about 4 bites left of something, he will "save" it in the pot instead of chucking it. If I am missing my flour sack towels, simply look in the fridge.

I like to save things in containers and plastic baggies. I think it keeps the freshness in and is more space efficient. I hate when I need a pot or pan to cook and there is a tablespoon of spaghetti left in the caked pan. Yucky!

When Tyler is done with a towel after a shower, he takes one corner and wedges it between the wall and the shower rack.

If it's going to be hung up, fold it and make it look nice.

After I am done with a shower, I like to get dressed in the room and don't want to put the towel on the floor, so I put it on the bed...and then usually accidentally forget about it...

Tyler thinks I should "wedge" the towel because then when we go to bed at night, the blankets are all damp. He hates that. I can't tell the difference.

Tyler thinks it's suitable to wash the dishes with a plain ol blue sponge. However, he also washes the toilet with a plain ol purple sponge...and he's color blind.

I will break and let him clean the bathroom with a sponge, if that's what he wants, but I will NEVER allow him to do the dishes with one he finds laying around. The dishes sponge HAS to be textured even if it costs more pennies.

When Tyler get's bored, he sneakily follows me around and undo my actions.

ex. I go into the bathroom to turn on the light and straightener to do my hair, but then realize that I left the hairspray in the bedroom. As I am in-transit to getting the hairspray, he will turn off the light and straightener.

Just because I am not using it right this second does not mean I am done with it...sheesh!

We had trouble working out our "system" for a while and sometimes got in disagreements about the little things. I could never understand where Tyler thought some of this was acceptable and I am sure Tyler thought the same thing with me until our recent move to Arizona.

The more we hung out with my family, the more Tyler understood. He knew why Tupperware was a must and that sponges just had to be textured. He figured out where I got my towel folding fanatic and many, many other things.

Life began to get better for us as we soon learned to accept each other, the good and the bad.

Then we moved back up to Idaho and guess what I saw?

When we were finished with dinner, Stan would save the rolls with a flour sack towel!

There would be plain ol yellow sponges in the bathrooms!

When Sylvia would turn up the heat, Stan would follow her and turn it down!

It all made sense and now *I* was understanding all his quirks.

I realized that it is truly amazing what we, as children, pick up from our parents. So, in the end, what we really needed to realize was that when we married each other, we also married a part of each other's parents.