Monday, April 26, 2010

Baby Prep 101

This Sunday I hit my 19 week mark which means that I'm practically halfway there!

Which really got me excited and nervous. I've really got to start preparing for this baby!

So I've compiled a list of my "must have's" for this pregnancy and baby and went out and bought them as fast as I possibly could. Seriously, these are going to be on Oprah's favorites soon.

First off, I'm going to be counting on you readers to have seen the movie Baby Mama. You know the part where the Lamaze teacher tells them to just rub a little EVOO down there to prep their perineum? Well, EVOO is for grandmas now (not to mention, Rachel Ray)! No, I introduce to you the Epi-No. Basically it's an an inflatable balloon you stick up your wah-who to pwepair for da gweat stwetch! On a level of 1 to 10, I'm pretty much already at a 9. This baby is going to slide right out of there!



Then, when my baby is born, I'm wanting him to feel as soothed as possible. So I'm going to try to replicate a womb-like experience with these pillow hands. I mean, what could be more natural than a pair of severed hands cradling your baby?



But why stop there? I want to replicate womb life for the baby even during bath time by using this Tummy Tub cause nothing says security like holding your baby's head above water level to keep it from drowning in a freakin' bucket!



But why should I have all the fun? Tyler needs his father-son bonding time too! So that's why I'm getting him the Mr. Milker. I think he'll really go for it and with him breastfeeding too, I can give my milkers a break.



I haven't had my baby shower yet but you can obviously tell which products I'm going to hope to get!

9 comments:

Brandilyn said...

HAHAHAHA!!! you're going to be the most high-tech parents IN THE WORLD!

Jenna said...

OH my GOSH! The severed hands! Hahahahaha!!

Ann Barlow said...

Hahahahahahaha!! Your baby is going to be in thee BEST hands! ha ha

Gurr Family said...

You are hilarious. I have never even heard of those things before. Good luck!!!

Kate said...

Bahahaha!

Maynards said...

I am laughing so hard, I have to go to the bathroom. Oh wow. You are so stinkin' funny.

Katie said...

After my delivery, I am looking at the perineum stretcher with much interest...

Rhonda said...

Oh, I was thinking you were serious at first. You are funny! You were kidding about all those, right? :) It's funny what man designs, when God already created us just right! Women can Birth! Men can't breastfeed! Oh my goodness those were funny pictures!

Morgan said...

you are great.