I realized that throughout this pregnancy, my blog has turned into a series of lame, last-minute picture updates and statistics. I haven't really given any insight to my thoughts all that much. However, this post will be different. Buckle up. Some of this may be TMI.
I am having a bit of an internal struggle. While, yes, that may be due to the fact that this kid loves to roll his foot up and down the right side of my ribs and the fact that my stomach send me hate notes of heartburn and diarrhea (TMI?), I have a hard decision to make and I need all the insight that is offered. Unless, of course, I disagree with you. Then your insight is not welcome.
I only have 5 weeks left in this pregnancy. Actually, it is 4 weeks and 5 days until I am 40 weeks full term. Coincidentally, school starts 10 days before this bugger is to make his debut. Now I know this may be hard for some to understand but kid or not, I really want to graduate from college which is why I have chosen not to take this semester off. Instead, I am taking all online courses which I have found I am very good at and I am only taking 12 credits which should be pretty easy.
I am pretty confident that I will be able to handle 12 online credits and take care of a baby as well. Although, I think that will be my limit. It's going to be hard and tough to adjust a baby into the schedule of a college student. Not to mention Tyler will be working part time and going to school full time (16 credits! Can you say crazy?) so I'm not counting on having a whole lotta help from him. I have accepted the fact that I am pretty much going to be lone wolf with this adjustment.
However, one thing I haven't accepted is how effed up my lady parts are about to become after giving birth. I am still in denial about inevitable grossness of the whole situation.
So amongst altering my sleeping schedule, getting down the basics of breastfeeding, and trying to complete school, you can add the whole healing process of my muffin to the list.
Am I starting to sound overwhelmed now?
Up until recently, I thought I had this taking-care-of-baby business all figured out until I realized something.
My other baby....
I had been concentrating so much on how I was going to parent my bugger that I had completely forgotten about my cyst. Oops...is that still inside of me? Yes, yes it is.
I don't know how it happened but my cyst had completely slipped my mind even if it was still firmly snuggled and taking up 10 cm of my body cavity. I realized that I had surgery to add to my list of adjustments which brings me to my decision.
A. I can go full term and let Jack come when he's "ready" and try to deal with taking care of a newborn, learning to breastfeed, healing up my lady parts, healing from a surgery and going to school all with very little help from Tyler due to his full time school and work schedule.
B. I can opt for a C-section and have the baby and the cyst taken out all at once before school starts so that I can recover from baby + surgery with the help of Tyler and without the added pressure of school and then deal with the decision of a VBAC when child #2 comes along.
C. I can be induced before school starts and have Jack vaginally then have the cyst surgery right after in which it will give me time to heal and give me the much needed help from Tyler without the added pressure of school (just like option b).
I really like option A because its about as granola as I get and the thought of him coming "naturally" appeals to me, even if I am going to bathe my spinal cord with epidural medication. On the down side, I just can't see myself handling baby, surgery, and school all at once.
Option B is my least favorite because if I don't have to slice my uterus, I wouldn't. Plus I would have to deal with the complications that could arise from a VBAC with my future kids. However, it does kill two birds with one stone AND allows me to basically choose when this kid comes.
Out of all of the options, letter C appeals to me the most because I can choose (more or less) when the kid comes and I would get to have him vaginally (which would help with future pregnancies). However, I am not sure how I feel about pumping my body with pitocin since that is a huge no-no with the granola crowd and is less natural. Although will the epidural and all of the other medications from general anesthesia, I'm sure an added drug wont make much of a difference.
I go into the doctor on Monday in which I will discuss the options with him and I will give an update on what he says. What is a pregnant lady to do?